Redo Prince – Chapter 23 – Commentated version

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Non-commentated version of this chapter here for those that don’t want to interrupt their reading of the story with my rambling.

Chapter 23 – Landing and Mouse!

The next day after entering Tialus, we kept advancing with the help of 《Teleport》.

Elysia, Elyc, and Hell White goes without saying, but Yuuri also came with me.
(TN: Goes without saying, so much so that Elyc the slime was never even mentioned in the last few chapters. The author is just trying to smudge the fact that he probably forgot about it already. That’s kind of a theme with this chapter.)

“We are heading for Alus Island right away!”


I’m trying to cover as much distance as possible with my 《Teleport》.

Every time the road split, I used 《Conceal》 to hide us while I checked the map.
(TN: And there is the Conceal the author forgot. Why can’t they just use it the whole time if they want to sightsee that much? I sincerely doubt that it would cost more than constant teleportation. Another thing: if he makes all of them invisible, including their possessions, then how does he check his map? There is no indication that the concealed stuff would be visible for themselves.)

Perhaps the 《Conceal》 is working, because there were no monsters coming towards them.
(TN: No shit. It was established that the Conceal could provide perfect concealment aside from intangibility.)

If we keep our voices down, we might be fine with just 《Conceal》…..oh, no, there are some Death Snakes coming our way.
(TN: If it doesn’t block scents, which is a very ‘convenient’ way of explaining why they didn’t start out using it, then it’s basically useless against monsters. For something that was obviously intended as yet another OP ability, this weakness feels very much tacked on. And considering it can muffle every sound as well, blocking scents should easily be among its functions.)

So I used 《Teleport》 again to move towards Alus Island.

As soon as I did, we could see the horizon over the ocean.

With the ocean getting closer, Elysia spoke up.

“So that’s the island we are aiming for.”

There was an island situated inside the giant bay.

I got down from Hell White on the shore, then spied on the current status of the island.

Frankly, it was a very large island. Though the center was somewhat hilly, the island overall was quite flat. From the looks of things, it should be able to support around ten thousand people if needed.

Furthermore, it was covered with thick forests and a lot of abandoned stone made buildings.
(TN: How the hell can he see all that from presumably multiple kilometers away?)

Yuuri muttered under her breath.

“It’s like people could still be living there….”
(TN: Yeah overgrown vegetation and abandoned stone houses just scream ongoing habitation.)

“Perhaps some undead will come out, Yuuri.”

“S-stop it, Elysia.”

Elysia grinned while Yuuri shivered from what Elysia said.

I thought they were using honorifics when addressing each other.
They must’ve bonded last night or something.
(TN: Bonded in their unbelievable creepiness.)

“Well, there could really be some, but….it doesn’t look that like at first glance.”

“Indeed……hm, there seems to be a number of Arrow Crows on top of some roofs. Though not that many, I think.”
(TN: I repeat, how the hell can they see all that from kilometers away?)

Elysia reported.

“In that case, we should go and visit it.”

“Understood. Ready at any time.”

Elysia said as she pulled out her sword. Yuuri also nodded with her mace shaking a bit in her hand.

I willed ourselves to 《Teleport》 to a place that looked like a harbor on the island.

In front of our eyes was a cobble-stone road and a bunch of buildings with their plaster fallen.

I used 《Conceal》 to hide us right away.

“There doesn’t seem to be anything on the grounds.”

“Though if we keep walking, I have a feeling some things would come out from the houses….”

Yuuri’s voice was shaking. It seems she can’t help but worry about what Elysia said about undeads appearing.

Elysia directed a question at me.

“So then, where will we go from here?”

“The government buildings should be in the center of the island. We will try to search the place for any information that may have remained. Perhaps we could find maps of this island or maybe even the whole Tialus.”

So we kept moving forward on the road next to the shore.

This is a quite large island, so we should be careful not to get lost. The government buildings being in the middle is just my guess as well.
(TN: That’s quite a stupid guess because places like that tend to be close to the water, or even right next to it. Especially on islands.)

That being said, if we manage to find a main street and follow that one, then we should come across some large buildings that should be our objective.

After walking down the road along the shore, we finally found the main street, so we proceeded to follow that one.
(TN: Excellent writing chops here. Put in a challenge in one sentence, then immediately resolve it with barely any change in wording in the next one.)

We saw no signs of anything left on the rather wide street.
Maybe some skeletons of birds and fishes here and there.

“This most likely means that about the only things visiting this island are the birds.”

“Yeah. Some larger birds must’ve hunted down the smaller birds that fed on the fishes.”

Those larger birds being the Arrow Crows, most likely.

“B-birds are fine, but….”

“Yuuri, despite your former body being quite large, you seem like quite a timid person.”

“T-that’s because you said some weird things, Elysia! ….it’s a good thing that I have a change of underwear on me──eeeek!?”

Yuuri’s body jolted from fright.

The cause of it was a crashing sound from behind us.

Turning back, we saw an Arrow Crow flying like an arrow in our direction.
(TN: A flying bird rarely makes a crashing sound when flying.)

“Did it notice us….? No.”

Looking closely, I could see a small animal running towards us on the ground.

“A mouse…..So some of those live here as well.”

It’s an animal that lives close to human settlements and raids their food supplies. It would not be an exaggeration to say that wherever humans live, mice do as well.

However, there are no people here. Some must’ve survived after the empire pulled out of here.
(TN: Does the author really think that field mice would just barely be able to survive without humans to steal from? Da hell? And I don’t think this is a case of the main character being wrong despite the author being aware of the truth.)

Anyhow, the Arrow Crow was still flying straight towards us.
(TN: Author forgot to mention how the MC entered bullet time during his contemplation.)

It didn’t notice our existence.
At this rate it will crash into us, so let’s take care of it quickly.

“I’ll take care of it. You two, be on guard.”

I shot down the Arrow Crow with 《Dark Cutter》, then I immediately collected its corpse into my 《Pandora’s Box》.

It seems a bit of blood has flowed out for a moment….

It was really just for a moment, but cries still started resounding from the sky. It seems the other Arrow Crows noticed what happened.
(TN: Really, they manage to notice the smell of blood that only got exposed for a few seconds at most, probably not even that?)

That being said, there weren’t even ten of them.
I guess I should take them down to get food for today.

I decided to take down the Arrow Crows coming at us. Elysia also used her sword to cut down the incoming Arrow Crows.

“S-stay away! Eyy, eyy!”

Yuuri just kept frantically swinging her mace. Although she looks cool at first sight, she was giving off a kind of a hapless atmosphere right now.

The fight ended in not even a minute after that.

“That should be the end of it for now.”

I moved to store away the Arrow Crow remains.

However, this was no time to dawdle.
Others might notice the smell of blood and come toward us.

“Let’s move on.”


I hid us with 《Conceal》 again and kept moving towards the government district.

However, Elysia apparently noticed something and turned back.

“….hm? The mouse from before?”

Where Elysia was looking at, a mouse was watching us from behind a building’s corner, trembling in fright.

“Perhaps… wants our food. It would be troublesome to be found by Arrow Crows again, so leave this one to me!”

Yuuri looked very confident that she would be able to take down the mouse by herself.
(TN: Am I missing something here? Mice are not that large that you can see its body language from meters away, nor is it any good idea to try to kill it with a frickin’ mace. It would just scurry away before you even get near it.)

“Wait a bit, Yuuri. It seems smart for a mouse. It may have detected us by scent and tried to follow us.”
(TN: How does any of that prove that it’s smart? It’s kind of stupid to even approach people like that. It’s not a stray dog begging for treats.)

It’s kind of a nuisance, but it seems to be a very smart mouse.
(TN: Again, what the hell makes you say that!?)

“I want to confirm something. Let’s catch it.”

“Yes! Leave it to me.”

Saying that, Yuuri tried to capture the mouse.

However, the mouse was nimble, so she wasn’t able to.
(TN: Who would’ve fekkin thought.)

“Kh, kh! Don’t run away! Ah.”

Seeing Yuuri having a difficult battle, Elyc the slime covered the mouse.
(TN: I don’t think a slime should be fast enough to catch a mouse either.)

The mouse was taken into Elyc’s body in no time.
It wasn’t trying to kill, so it left the mouse’s head outside so it could breathe.

It’s a slime that we found in the capital, so it must’ve seen mice before. It might even be used to hunting them.
(TN: That’s a lot of brain power you attribute to a pile of gunk. Though compared to the MC, it must seem like a genius.)

Seeing that, Elysia smiled.
(TN: In a not-at-all-creepy way, not at all seeing it as almost a child between her and the MC, who is still a literal child.)

“Elyc, good work.”

“Muh….losing to even a slime….”

Yuuri said with puffed up cheeks, pouting heavily.

“It’s okay, a mouse can be quite quick……well then.”

I squatted down and looked at the face of the mouse.

It was visibly panicking, perhaps not wanting to die.
(TN: …….I have no words. And yes, this really what was written.)

“I won’t kill you. But it’s dangerous here…, will you be my Servant?”
(TN: What a clear line of logic leading from the inciting incident to the resolution, truly. Also, if taking in a Servant boosts the mana capacity of both the Servant and the Master with no disadvantages at all [Which is still stupid as shit.], then why doesn’t he just beat up every single animal and non sentient monster from there to the capital and make them his Servants. He might just undergo apotheosis without even touching the demons and humans.)

After hearing my words, the mouse stopped struggling and kept looking at me.
(TN: Of course a damn simple mouse would be able to understand human speech. And there was no indication of it being anything else than a simple mouse so far. There should be at least some kind of visual indicator if it’s different from ordinary mice. And if it’s not, then it means every mouse would be able to understand humans, which is all kinds of hecked up. It’s not something that can be handwaved away by saying that ‘it seems kinda smart’.)

Finally, it made a movement resembling a nod.

At that moment, the mouse started shining.
(TN: Why is being made into a Servant of a Dark Magic user comes with a light show instead of dark clouds or something? Probably because the first one was a half-orc turning into a blond bombshell, so it needed the sparkles.)

After the light died down, what remained was:

“A mouse…..”

It was the same mouse as before── no, wait.

Its body grew to many times its former size. Also, it could now stand only on its hind legs without any kind of discomfort.
(TN: How the hell does he miss it growing to many times its original size right in front of his eyes!? Also, the author once again demonstrates how well versed he is on the topic of mice by claiming they can’t stand on their hind legs without it hurting them.)

And there was another thing that was clearly different from before.

“──what is this!?”

The mouse shouted out loud like a human.

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3 thoughts on “Redo Prince – Chapter 23 – Commentated version”

  1. Dang, they really dragged Bae into this. Pretty sure all the ridiculous leaps of logic were put just to justify a mouse girl joining the harem.

  2. Your comments are the only worthwhile thing here. How long until the reveal the mouse is a pedo too -_-

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